Never Surrender: A MacKenzie Family Novella (The MacKenzie Family) Read online

  One side of Wade’s hard mouth tugged up at the corner, his eyes shaded by the trademark wide-brimmed black Stetson he favored. “Well, thanks for that.”

  “Just calling it like I see it.” She turned back to Maya. “I can’t get over you! So polished.”

  The matron of honor grinned and fluffed her sleek chin-length, chocolate-brown bob, her pretty sea-green eyes dancing with humor. The simple black sheath dress fit her athletic body like a glove and showed off the killer muscles in her bronzed arms and legs. “I know, you still expect to see me in ACUs all the time.”

  It was a stark contrast from the tough, tomboyish woman she’d met back at Bagram. “You look like a Bond girl.”

  “Hey, I like that description,” Jackson, Maya’s husband, said in his slight Texas drawl, stepping up next to Maya to snake an arm around her waist and nuzzle her hair. Candace adored him, and his and Maya’s story was epic. “FBI Special Agent Maya Thatcher, Bond girl.” After the harrowing ordeal they’d been through together as POWs in Afghanistan, Maya had applied to and been accepted into the FBI, with a glowing letter of recommendation from the Secretary of Defense. The least he could do, since she, Jackson, and Wade had saved the man’s life.

  Maya bumped him gently in the ribs with her elbow, the way her lips curved upward telling Candace she was pleased by the comparison. “That’s right, and don’t you forget it.” She glanced at Candace. “Are the others here yet?”

  “Not yet. Their schedules were still all over the map, but with any luck, everyone will be here by the ceremony on Saturday morning.” She wished she could have a few extra days with Ryan, like the others were getting with their husbands, but a couple days together was still better than nothing. “You all remember my grandma Ruby?”

  “Oh yeah,” Maya said with a smirk, and shook Grandma’s hand. “You’re a hard woman to forget.”

  “I try to leave an impression,” Grandma said, looking pleased by the compliment.

  Candace bit back a smile. Oh, Ruby certainly left an impression all right. “So, you guys hungry?”

  “Starved.” Erin hooked her arm through Wade’s. “And thanks again, Ruby, for comping us the rooms and helping set this up for us. We didn’t expect that, but we appreciate it and it means a lot to us.”

  “Not at all. I’m happy you wanted to have your wedding here.” She wagged her eyebrows. “And your wedding night. This mountain air is famous for working up an appetite, if you know what I mean.”

  Wade’s expression froze and Erin seemed at a loss for words for a moment before she cleared her throat and changed the subject. “They have some place good to eat around here?”

  “I hope none of you are vegetarians,” Grandma said as she climbed down from her stool and stepped up beside Candace. “Around here it’s steak and potatoes for the most part. Real food that’ll stick to your ribs. And from where I’m sitting, it looks like a few of you could use several good meals while you’re here,” she added, giving Maya a pointed look. “This way, everyone. Follow me.” With that, she turned and marched away toward the direction of the grill restaurant in the next building over, expecting them all to follow.

  Erin snickered as Maya leaned in to murmur to Candace, “Your grandma’s a trip.”

  “Oh yeah,” she agreed. “Believe me, you ain’t seen nothing yet.” The Bagram group had been at her and Ryan’s wedding last year, but Grandma had been pretty tame throughout the whole thing. Candace was pretty sure her dad had threatened his mother with some dire consequence if Grandma didn’t behave.

  “So,” Maya said quietly to her as they fell in behind the others. “Your contract with the force is almost up.”

  “Yes.”

  Maya gave her a knowing smile. “You decided if you’re gonna re-up yet?”

  “Not yet,” she lied. She’d actually made her mind up a couple weeks ago, but didn’t want to tell Maya before she talked to Ryan about it. She was done with combat missions, with being in a warzone and fighting her lingering demons on a daily basis.

  Still, the decision hadn’t been easy.

  It had taken years for her to become part of AFSOC, let alone make captain and become the first officer on a Spectre gunship. Whenever she became a civilian again, she worried that it might feel like a piece of her was missing. “I’d miss my crew, and the aircraft itself if I left. I’d never get to be at the controls of a Spooky again, and that makes it hard to let go.” Ryan wasn’t going to like her decision. But flying wasn’t the same for her now as it used to be. Hadn’t been for a long time.

  “I can understand that. Any thoughts as to what else you might want to do?”

  “I have no idea.” And therein lay the crux of the problem. Not just for her, but between her and Ryan. She felt lost and had no idea what to do next, and he hadn’t exactly been there for her since he’d been on this latest deployment.

  Maya blinked in surprise. “What? That’s not like you. You’ve always got at least six different contingency plans in place.”

  “Not this time.” She sighed and kept walking. With her background and résumé, she probably wouldn’t have trouble finding a job as a commercial or private pilot. That didn’t hold much appeal, though, not after flying one of the most advanced and feared gunships in the world. She wanted to do something meaningful with her life. “I can’t help feeling like it’s just time for me to leave.”

  Maya knew every bit of her story.

  “After that mission where Ryan and I ended up in the mountains behind enemy lines together, flying was never the same for me. Now that I’ve fulfilled my contract, part of me wants to move on and do something else. Is that so wrong?”

  “No, not at all.” Maya shot her a sideways glance. “What does Ryan say about all this?”

  She pursed her lips. “We haven’t talked about it.” Not really. Because he hadn’t been interested in listening. And from what he had said, it was clear he didn’t get where she was coming from. At all. She was hurt and angry that he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—see her side of things.

  She’d forced herself to drop the whole issue for the time being because she didn’t want to fight while he was overseas, since there was always a good chance something might happen to him over there. It wasn’t fair to either of them to argue about it while they were apart, and he needed to be focused on his job, not distracted by her or their problems. So she’d decided to shelve it until he got back stateside.

  “What about you guys? You’re both pretty settled now. Planning on having kids anytime soon?”

  “Not for a while yet. We both love our jobs way too much.” Maya waited a moment, hanging back from the others so they could have more privacy. “Bet you’re excited to see Ryan when he gets here, huh?” she asked as they reached the main building’s front door.

  Candace thanked Jackson for holding it for her and walked out into the cool fall air. “Yeah.” Just three more days. The all-too familiar buzz of nerves started in her stomach again. She couldn’t believe she was actually nervous about seeing her husband again, but this time she was.

  “How long’s it been since you’ve seen him this time?” Maya asked, her high heels clicking softly on the flagstone path that linked the main building to the one beside it.

  “Eight months. How long for you and Jackson?”

  “Five months and eleven days. Not that I counted or anything.” Maya studied her a moment. “You nervous?”

  She shrugged. “I’m always a little nervous after we’ve been apart so long.” This time it was more than nerves, however. She was a bit apprehensive, to be honest. Part of her was worried that this homecoming would be less than idyllic.

  Whenever they could swing it in the past, they’d managed to steal a few days away together. Someplace quiet, away from home and family, where they could be alone and reconnect while Ryan adjusted to being out of a combat zone again.

  The readjustment wasn’t as hard for her because she wasn’t on the ground in harm’s way the same way he was dur
ing a mission. The last time they’d snuck away together, she’d noticed a big difference in him.

  He hadn’t slept much for those first few days he’d been back from Bagram, and he’d been withdrawn, which was totally unlike him. All part of the wear and tear on his psyche from the constant strain he was under in a warzone.

  That was another reason she’d bottled up her feelings recently, not wanting to distract or upset him. She’d done her share of operations over there too, but from the sky, with the notable exception of when she and her crew had been forced to abandon their gunship that time during a rescue attempt gone terribly wrong.

  It hadn’t been easy for her to get past it. If not for Ryan, she wouldn’t be here today.

  “I get it.” Maya’s appreciative gaze strayed to Jackson, a few steps ahead of them, talking to Erin and Wade. “Homecomings are the best though, aren’t they?”

  “Yes.” There was no doubt Maya was anxious to get dinner over with so she could be alone with her husband as soon as possible. Candace didn’t blame her, because the long separations were hard on couples.

  Sex was always the easy part though. After being apart for so many months, forging that physical connection again was the most natural. The problem was, the rest wasn’t always so easy to smooth over.

  As a pararescueman, Jackson was in huge demand and served frequent combat deployments to Afghanistan and other hot zones throughout Africa and the Middle East. Unlike PJs, combat controllers like Ryan were off grid for long stretches at a time, on classified missions often conducted deep behind enemy lines.

  Even with her top security clearance as an AFSOC member, there were only certain things Ryan could tell her about what was going on, and no amount of phone calls or e-mails while they were apart gave her the kind of deep, meaningful connection she craved with her husband. With their conflicting views about her career, it seemed to her they were drifting apart, and it scared her.

  “Don’t worry,” Maya said in a cheerful tone, looping one arm around Candace’s waist and giving her a squeeze. “Us girls will keep you so busy over the next few days, the time’s gonna fly by. He’ll be here before you know it and then you guys can work everything out.”

  “Yeah,” Candace answered as they approached the restaurant entrance. She just hoped their time together here would bring her and Ryan closer together instead of pushing them further apart.

  Chapter Two

  Candace’s eyes flew open in the darkness when the mattress shifted and a warm, naked body pressed to hers. Her heart rate shot up as she rolled away, then a low, masculine chuckle penetrated the roaring of blood in her ears, an instant before that distinctive, spicy scent registered.

  Ryan. As the wave of alarm receded, relief and joy took its place.

  “Hi,” he whispered, sliding one arm around her to draw her close.

  Excitement punched through her. She rolled into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling against his mouth as he kissed her. “Hi. Am I dreaming?” She cuddled in closer and held on tight, squeezing her eyes shut. He was here, safe and sound, and this one embrace soothed all the emotional bruises she’d been feeling.

  “Nope. Want me to prove it?”

  “Mm-hmm.” God, he felt good. No surprise, he was already fully erect and hot against her abdomen. Arousal stirred, warming her from the inside out.

  He brought his mouth down on hers and the kiss changed from slow and lazy to hungry in a single heartbeat. It felt like a year since she’d last held him this way, rather than months. He tasted like toothpaste and felt like heaven.

  When he raised his head a minute later, she was breathing faster and her entire body tingled, crying out for more. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” she whispered, running a finger down the side of his cheek, over the short, neatly-trimmed beard.

  Her handsome, proud warrior. In the last picture she’d seen of him a few days ago, the beard had been wild and bushy after spending almost two weeks out in the mountains.

  “Things settled down a lot so I managed to get leave a few days early. Found a flight that got me in an hour ago and drove straight here to surprise you.” He leaned back slightly, his grin flashing white in the soft moonlight coming through the blinds that covered the window above the headboard. “So are you surprised?”

  Her heart squeezed. “Yes, I’m so glad you’re here.” She had been tired when she’d gone to bed, but not so tired she should have missed the sound of the door opening or him coming into the room. He did have crazy stealth powers, however.

  He huffed out a laugh and bent to find her mouth with his once more. “Missed you, Ace.”

  A pang shot through her. She’d been so worried that the tension inside her would ruin this moment, but everything else seemed to fade away when she was in his arms.

  “Missed you too.” She pulled him down and kissed him, craving the chance to lose herself in him, and sighed as everything inside her melted. Running her hands over his bare back, she frowned in concern and pulled her lips away from his. “You’ve lost weight.” More than he normally did during a deployment. He was all muscle and bone now, not an ounce of fat on him.

  “I’m all cut and chiseled for you, baby. Enjoy it while it lasts.” He nuzzled her neck.

  The teasing, seductive tone didn’t sway her. Worried, she took his face in her hands. “You okay?” He obviously hadn’t been eating his normal rations for a while. “You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”

  “No, I’m fine. Now stop worrying and just kiss me, woman.” He grabbed her hands and raised her arms to pin her wrists on either side of her head.

  The sexy, dominant move made something low in her belly flutter. She relented and let everything else go, heart beating faster as the anticipation and desire continued to build inside her.

  Her body had already come alive beneath his, craving him because it knew exactly what he could do to her, and she wanted it right the hell now. It usually took her a little longer to catch up with his physical intensity the first time after they’d been apart, but maybe…maybe right now this was enough to mend their bond that had been tested and strained with this latest deployment.

  Pushing all that aside, she focused on the feel of Ryan on top of her and the delicious heat spreading through her body. She tugged against his grip on her wrists and he released her, but before she could move he looped something around them and secured it to the base of the headboard.

  She gasped and craned her neck to see what he’d done, catching a glimpse of his webbed belt a moment before he cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her face back to his. In the pale moonlight his mahogany eyes seemed black, and they glittered with a raw hunger that made her breath catch.

  “Don’t move.”

  Those two husky words, spoken in that dark velvet voice, sent a shiver of anticipation rippling through her. He’d always had a dominant edge to him but he didn’t let it out as often as she’d like and it thrilled her that he was doing it now.

  Next thing she knew, a wave of cool air hit her as he rolled away and yanked the covers completely off them. His low, appreciative groan reverberated through the stillness when he saw her naked body stretched out before him, his for the taking. “God, I’ve been dreaming about this for months. Wanna just eat you up,” he murmured.

  “Yes, please.”

  He chuckled, his beard tickling her neck as he leaned in to settle his mouth against the spot between her neck and shoulder that always lit her up like the Fourth of July. She shivered and bit her lip. Already hard from the cool air, her nipples beaded even tighter, her toes curling as that wicked mouth nibbled and sucked on that sensitive spot.

  Her eyes closed and she consciously relaxed, surrendering to the moment and whatever he had planned for her. Being restrained this way was exciting and a little unsettling, but being unable to move forced her to just let go and enjoy whatever this sexy alpha male did to her.

  His rumble of approval at the way she relaxed brushed over her senses
like a caress, then the warmth of his hands began to glide over her body. The combination of that possessive touch, mixed with the nip of his teeth and the stroke of his tongue had her wet and trembling within minutes.

  More, she urged him silently, arching her back. She’d been fantasizing about this for months, the things he would do to her and the things she’d do to him when he was finally home again.

  Those big, strong hands cupped her breasts, squeezing gently while his beard pricked and tickled her feverish skin, his mouth coming ever closer to her tingling nipples. He made a low sound in the back of his throat and carefully took one bud between his teeth, holding it prisoner while he lashed his tongue against it.

  Candace groaned and strained against the bonds holding her prisoner, desperate to push into his mouth. Ryan responded with a deep chuckle and sucked the captive nipple between his lips. Pleasure streaked through her, molten and intense.

  Sensation spiraled outward, connecting to the incessant throb between her legs, increasing the empty ache. She moved her legs restlessly, trying to open them wide enough to wind around his hips and pull him to her. More. She needed more.

  Ryan ignored her and the whimper that left her lips, clearly intending to drive her out of her mind. He licked and sucked at the first nipple, then switched to the second while his free hand coasted down her belly to the rise of her hip.

  His fingers glided across her skin like the stroke of velvet, trailed over the length of her thigh and back up the inside, stopping just short of where she wanted them. He knew her body so well, knew exactly how to make her ache, how to make her go blind with pleasure.

  When he decided she was ready.

  She groaned in frustration and raised her hips, but he just curled a hand around one and stilled her. “Ryan…”

  “I’m still hungry,” he whispered against her breast, holding her gaze for a long moment before planting a trail of hot, wet kisses down the center of her body, pausing at the top of the triangle of dark blond hair between her legs.