Absolution Read online

  But there was no elation. No sense of satisfaction that accompanied the thought. All he felt was weariness and relief. And a lingering hollowness that Tehrazzi’s cooling body lay beside him.

  “Ambulance is standing by,” Dec said from above him. “Let’s haul ass and get him to shore.”

  “He’s lost a lot of blood, Lieutenant,” the medic said. “Pulse is thready.”

  “He’ll make it,” Dec replied. “He’s a tough motherfucker.”

  A moment later the big inboard engine came to life and then the boat sped across the water. Luke lost consciousness sometime during the trip back to the dock. He came to as they were loading him into the ambulance on a stretcher. They’d hooked him up to a saline drip to increase his blood volume. The paramedic was busy checking his vitals.

  “A-positive,” Luke mumbled from beneath the oxygen mask strapped to his face.

  The man looked down at him in surprise. “Your blood type?”

  Luke nodded and closed his eyes again. Em had once joked his blood type matched his personality type. A-plus alpha male, she’d said.

  Was she all right? He hoped she was sitting next to a warm fire with the other women gathered around her. He wanted her safe and warm. She was going to need someone’s shoulder to lean on. Especially when she found out about him. Ben would handle everything. Neveah would make sure she was okay. And Bryn was there to comfort her.

  He still couldn’t believe Tehrazzi had let her go. A lump settled in Luke’s throat as he remembered Tehrazzi’s words before he died. The conflicting emotions rolling through him made his eyes sting. Somewhere in the hardened shell of a man Tehrazzi had become, a streak of human decency had still existed. A glimpse into the soul of the wide-eyed youth he’d once been.

  He’d recognized Emily’s pain. He’d seen that she’d suffered enough, both from what Luke had done to her and from the cancer. So he’d granted her mercy.

  In return, Luke had taken his life.

  Stay...

  He had. In the hours of darkness ahead of him, Luke could hold onto that. And maybe, just maybe Tehrazzi’s spirit was already with the God he’d loved more than his own life.

  The wail of the siren faded into the background. The paramedic’s voice receded. Releasing his tenuous hold on consciousness, Luke let the darkness take him.

  ****

  In the great room, Emily surged to her feet and faced Ben, knocking Bryn’s restraining hand off her forearm. “Wounded? What do you mean, wounded?” Her heart throbbed painfully.

  Ben’s light green eyes were somber. “He’s in surgery.”

  “What?” One hand went to her throat. “How bad?”

  “I don’t know all the details yet—”

  “Jesus, just tell me what’s wrong with him!”

  “Gunshot wound,” Ben replied evenly.

  But at least it wasn’t from the suicide vest. Emily swallowed hard. “Where?” Head? Thorax? One of his limbs?

  “I don’t know.”

  “But...he’s okay? He’s stable?”

  “Yes. Rhys is at the hospital. He’ll give us an update when he can.”

  Okay. Take a breath. He’s okay. He’s a fighter. “I want to go there.”

  “No.”

  His flat refusal made her hackles go up. “I’m a nurse.”

  “Not today.”

  “He’s my husband,” she argued, not caring that she was stretching the truth, “and I want to be there.”

  “No. You’re in no shape to go anywhere, and we’re still trying to figure out if the threat’s over. You’re staying put.”

  Bryn rose and set an arm around her tense shoulders. “It’s what Luke would want, Em.”

  Barely resisting the urge to throw her friend’s arm off, she choked down the snarl rising in her throat, never taking her eyes off Ben’s. “And what about...Tehrazzi?” She could barely get his name out.

  “Dead.”

  Emily sagged. Thank God. “Is that how Luke was hit?”

  Ben nodded. “Then Dec and his boys diffused the vest.”

  She remembered the feel of it against her shoulder blades, and shivered despite the thick sweater she had on and the fire crackling in the hearth.

  And yet he’d let her go. Twice.

  Shoving the thought from her mind, Emily tore away from Bryn and began pacing the room, rubbing her hands over her suddenly chilled arms. God, she wanted to go to Luke so badly. Needed to tell him she loved him.

  “Em.”

  Raising her head, she met Bryn’s steady gaze. “Ben’s just doing his job.”

  “I know, but dammit...”

  “I’m going back downstairs,” Ben announced.

  When he’d gone, Emily turned back to her best friend. Her worry was mirrored in Bryn’s dark eyes. Apart from what Ben had told them, there hadn’t been any word on Dec, either.

  Emily opened up her arms. “I’m sorry,” she said as Bryn moved into the embrace.

  “It’s all right. I understand perfectly.”

  But there was no excuse. “We’ll wait it out together. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  With a firm grip on her emotions, Emily followed Bryn downstairs where they parked it on the couch outside the coms room. Neveah followed them down a few minutes later.

  “Ben pulled rank and won’t let me go to the hospital. Any more details?” she asked.

  “None,” Emily answered, moving over to make room for her. She appreciated that they’d come down to be with her so she didn’t have to wait alone.

  They sat in silence together, every so often glancing over at the closed door of the coms room. But neither Sam nor Ben came out to give them an update. After a while Nev broke the silence. “You really should sleep for a bit,” she said to her. “That dip in the Med isn’t going to help your immune system any.”

  Emily shook her head, determined to stay awake though her eyelids felt like they weighed a hundred pounds each.

  A heavy sigh followed. “All right, then as your doctor I’m ordering you to have a nap. Being this sleep deprived isn’t doing your body any good.”

  She couldn’t possibly sleep now. Not when she didn’t know what was happening with Luke.

  “Rest your eyes, at least. Ben or Sam will come get us if anything happens.”

  Emily didn’t want to rest her eyes, but when another hour went by without any further updates, her lids slowly drooped despite her best efforts to keep them open. By way of a compromise she allowed her head to fall back against the leather couch cushions. She was vaguely aware of Bryn’s deep, even breaths beside her, and the way Neveah curled up to lay her head on the armrest.

  The next thing she knew, Sam was shaking her awake. Emily’s head snapped up as the others stirred. “What?” she whispered hoarsely, brain fuzzy with sleep. “What’s happened?”

  Sam’s eyes were lined with fatigue, but she was smiling. “Luke’s going to be okay.”

  “Oh God,” she whispered, covering her face with shaking hands. The sheer relief of knowing that almost sent her to her knees on the floor. She felt Nev and Bryn’s hands on her back. Then she heard footsteps overhead.

  “Ben’s up in the kitchen making coffee,” Sam added. “You guys want some?”

  “Come on,” Bryn said, hauling her to her feet. “You need some caffeine in you so you can argue with Ben about letting you go to the hospital.”

  They were all up drinking hot coffee and tea when a vehicle pulled up outside. Everyone looked at Ben, but he merely smiled and shrugged.

  “Is it Rhys?” Nev asked, jumping off her stool to run for the door. Emily and Bryn stood as she threw it open, then Nev let out a squeal.

  A moment later Rhys came through the door, carrying her like a monkey. She was plastered to the front of him, arms wound around his shoulders, her legs around his waist. His answering deep chuckle squeezed Emily’s heart. He walked into the middle of the kitchen, his big arms locked tight around Neveah, and over the top of her head smiled at Emily
and Bryn. “Got enough coffee for the rest of us?”

  “Rest of us?” Bryn squeaked, and raced to the foyer. Her eyes popped wide. “Dec!” she yelled, leaping on him as he came in. Dec twirled her around for a moment, then set her down and captured her face between his hands, kissing her breathless. “How—what are you doing here?”

  Dec shrugged. “Some guy I know pulled a few strings on my behalf.”

  Emily gave the happy couples a minute to say hello, then demanded, “How’s Luke? Is he okay? What happened?”

  Dec’s golden brown eyes twinkled. “See for yourself.”

  “He’s here?” She couldn’t believe it. There was no way, she thought, rushing past the others. No way would the hospital have discharged him so soon. But when she rounded the corner and crossed the threshold, she came to a full, hard stop.

  Luke really was there. He closed the truck’s back door, his left arm immobilized in a sling.

  “Luke!”

  His head snapped around, and the instant he saw her a weary smile lit his face.

  Emily tore over the damp pavers in her bare feet. Mindful of his bandages, she flung her arms around his waist and held on for all she was worth.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The gnawing pain in his newly repaired shoulder disappeared the moment Emily touched him. His right arm went around her back to hug her as she squeezed the breath out of him. Her sweet scent drifted up and her soft curves molded to his body. Part of him couldn’t believe he was holding her. He’d never thought he would have the chance again. She was a gift he intended to cherish for the rest of his life.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered, voice choked with tears. “Oh thank you God.”

  “Hi, sunshine,” he murmured against her temple, holding on as tight as she was.

  Emily pulled back and gazed up at him. Her beautiful green eyes were wet with tears. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  Damn, he was already on the ragged edge, but that put him a second away from crying. “I love you too,” he told her, cupping her velvety soft cheek.

  She took his face between her palms and lifted on tiptoe to kiss him. “I was so scared,” she muttered between kisses, raining them over his face.

  Luke stopped her, setting her away from him, battling the tears that wanted to come. “Christ, Em, I almost had a fucking heart attack when you jumped on that boat.” He still couldn’t believe how brave she’d been. How selfless.

  “I thought I could save you. But I made it worse.”

  Aw, fuck. Knowing she’d been prepared to die in order to save him rocked him to the core.

  He couldn’t talk about it yet. He’d be having nightmares about it for months to come. “Baby, you scared the living shit out of me. I’ve never been afraid like that. Not ever.” And he’d seen some scary-ass things in his life.

  She hugged him again, laying her head on his uninjured shoulder and stroking his back. “Me neither.”

  He buried his face in her hair. Wig, rather. In that instant, the awful reality of the cancer hit him like a body blow. Oh Jesus, he couldn’t lose her now. Couldn’t. He squeezed her tight. “Say it again.”

  Emily titled her head back to look into his eyes. “I love you.”

  Shit, he was shaking all over.

  “Are you okay?”

  He forced a nod and found his voice. “Be a while until I can use my arm again, though.”

  “What happened to you?”

  “Had to take a shot through my shoulder to get him.” The words hurt his dry, tight throat. “Surgeon patched me all back together though.”

  Her eyes delved into his. Spring green, clear and gentle. Full of love and acceptance, though his soul was permanently stained by the things he’d done. She slid a steadying arm around his waist. He wanted to laugh because she barely came up to his chin and he had seventy-plus pounds on her, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth only a sob would come out.

  Emily stayed pressed tight against his side and tugged on him. “Come on. Come inside.”

  He followed her into the house, unsurprised that no one else was around. All the others were no doubt having their own romantic reunions, and he thanked God because he was too raw for an audience. All he wanted was Emily, and he didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

  She led him upstairs to his room and closed the door before turning back the covers and helping him in. With brisk efficiency she arranged him on his right side and propped some pillows around and under his injured arm. By the time she lay down beside him, he teetered on the brink of losing control. Hating the weakness, he tried to think of something to say. “You’re a good nurse.”

  “Thanks.” But her smile was sad when she smoothed his hair back.

  He was acutely conscious of the length of it and how grubby he felt. He was still covered in dried salt from the water and sweat, plus his beard itched. He couldn’t wait to shave the fucker off.

  “Can I do anything?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Help me clean up?”

  “Sure.” She set an arm around his back and he let her pull him to his feet. In the en suite she filled the tub and helped him strip down. Her eyes went right to the blood seeping through the bandages. “You could’ve hit your lung or heart so easily,” she whispered, shaking her head.

  “But I’m okay, baby.” And he would hold it together for her. He didn’t want to scare her any more by losing control and breaking down.

  She held his free hand when he stepped into the tub. Luke sighed as he hit the hot water, wishing he could sink up to his chin. He laid his head back against the marble edge and closed his eyes while Emily used a washcloth on him. The instant it touched his bare chest his dick went rock hard, but he ignored it, focusing instead on the simple pleasure of her touch and the fact he was alive to enjoy it. When she dampened his hair and rubbed shampoo into it, he groaned at the feel of her fingers massaging her scalp. “Oh God that feels good...”

  Her husky chuckle made him even harder, until his heartbeat pulsed in his cock. She took her sweet time, drawing the erotic bath out for him, then kneaded the knotted muscles in the back of his neck and right shoulder. After she rinsed him off, he grabbed her hand and stepped out of the tub. Catching sight of his reflection, he grimaced.

  “Shave this thing off me,” he said, stroking a hand over the beard.

  She hesitated. “Are you...sure?”

  “Yes.” He reached out to touch her, his hand trembling against her face. “It’s over.” The words came out a low rasp.

  “Really over?”

  “It’s over,” he repeated quietly, gathering her close. She melted into his hold for a moment, then looked up with an impish gleam in her eyes.

  “You sure you don’t want me to take care of this first,” she teased, pressing into his aching cock.

  Luke shook his head. He was sore and barely hanging on to his control as it was. As good as an orgasm would feel, he needed something even better right now. “Get this thing off me,” he said, running his hand over the beard.

  With a towel wrapped around his waist, he sat one hip on the vanity and let her lather his face and scrape the beard away. When she wiped his skin with a hand towel and stepped away, her eyes gleamed with tears.

  “What?” he whispered, cupping her cheek.

  She put a hand to her throat. “Looking at you right now just... It took me back, that’s all.”

  He swiveled his head to check himself out in the mirror. Damn, he looked almost human again.

  “I’d nearly forgotten how stunning you are under all that hair.”

  He turned back to her, the wistful note in her voice pulling at him. Beat up as he was, he still wanted to carry her into the bedroom and lock the world away for a few days. He wanted her naked body flush up against his so he could hold her and feel her heartbeat, reassure himself she was safe in his arms. To know they were finally back together.

  He ran his hand down her neck to cradle her nape in his palm. “Take m
e to bed, Em.”

  With a watery laugh, she leaned up to kiss him. Her lips were warm and tender, and she sighed as she nuzzled him, rubbing her petal soft cheek against his. A million nerve endings sparkled to life in his freshly shaved face. But when he touched her cheek again, she flinched. He pulled back and immediately found the faint bruise forming under her translucent skin across her cheekbone.

  “Did he hurt you?” He ran his eyes over her slim frame.

  “No, just this. Because I wouldn’t...stop attacking him.”

  The visual that gave him damn near made his heart stop. “Jesus, Em...” He wrapped her close, locking his arm around her fiercely. No, screw it. He needed to know. “Why’d you do it?”

  She didn’t answer for a moment. “I wanted you to be free.”

  He set her away from him. “What?”

  “I wanted you to have a life again. I figured I don’t have much longer anyway, so...”

  So she’d tried to sacrifice herself for him. To save him.

  What the hell did he say to that? Didn’t she know losing her would have killed him anyway? All the emotion he’d shoved into the vault inside him threatened to burst free when Emily sniffed and pressed her face against his chest. Her slim shoulders shook in a silent sob.

  But then she lifted her eyes to his and got control. “I’m glad it’s over. But I’m so sorry you had to be the one to...”

  Kill Tehrazzi. He didn’t know what to say because he still didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Too much had happened too fast.

  Emily’s eyes glittered with unshed tears, laced with pain and confusion. “He let me go, twice. Why?”

  Luke swallowed past the constriction in his throat. “He knew it was the right thing to do,” he answered softly. “And he... I think he did it as a final gift to me.” Because Tehrazzi had assumed they would both die on that boat. Everything he did had a pointed motive. Tehrazzi was all about poignancy. Releasing Emily had been a last gesture of kindness to acknowledge the close friendship they’d once shared. Luke was sure of that.