Lethal Protector Page 9

  “Brax? Is something wrong?”

  He glanced away, ran a hand over his jaw, then focused on her again. “What you said earlier. About me being part of the family.” His voice was low, taut, the muscles in his jaw and shoulders tight.

  She frantically tried to gather her scattered thoughts, wondering what had upset him. “What about it?”

  “Is that how you see me? As family?”

  Something in his tone, in the silent tension coming from him, gave her pause and warned her to phrase her answer carefully. Especially when she took into account the things he’d said earlier. Was he hinting that…

  Voicing her feelings aloud made her feel incredibly vulnerable, but she needed to be honest right now, because this would change everything, one way or the other.

  Holding his gaze, she drew a steadying breath before answering. “If you’re asking if I think of you in a brotherly way, then… No.” Not even a little.

  He stilled, his gaze sharpening, the leap of heat of that dark stare sending a ripple of shock—and hope—through her. “So how do you think of me?”

  She looked away, fighting a blush as her discomfort level skyrocketed. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself or be humiliated if he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. “I…”

  “Tal. Look at me.”

  She did, and felt herself drowning in those deep brown eyes, all the feelings she’d repressed for years suddenly rushing to the surface.

  “Say it,” he rasped out.

  I’ve wanted you forever.

  The unspoken words got tangled on the tip of her tongue. But she couldn’t look away. Couldn’t drag her eyes from his, her pulse pounding in her ears as she waited for him to say something. Do something to put her out of her misery.

  He took two steps toward her, stopping inches from her boots to reach both arms past her. He leaned in to cage her against the truck doorway with his big body, his hands on either side of her head, the muscles in his arms, shoulder and jaw standing out.

  And his eyes. The sudden, volcanic heat in them made the breath stall in her lungs.

  Shock punched through her, followed by a wave of molten desire as she stared up at him, his face mere inches from hers. She had to be reading this wrong. Had to be, because he was staring at her like he wanted to devour her and was struggling to hold back.

  “Tal.” His voice was low, his taut expression making her heart thud against her ribs. He’d only ever looked at her like this in her dreams.

  “What?” she whispered back, anticipation and need swirling inside her. Touch me. Oh, God, touch me…

  His face was set, but the stark yearning she read in his eyes sent another rush of arousal through her. She held her breath as he lifted a hand.

  He raised a hand. His fingers grazed her temple, raising goosebumps. They curled into her hair for a brief moment, then stroked a lock of it away from her cheek, the tips skimming across her skin.

  Tingles burst outward from his touch. Down her neck to her chest. Her nipples tightened, her core clenching in pure need.

  Tala automatically reached for his shoulders, anticipating the moment when he put his mouth on hers. She sank her fingers into the padding of his jacket, until they met the firm muscles beneath.

  They were rigid under her hands, his eyes locked with hers. Over six feet of powerful, hungry male standing right in front of her, so close she could feel the warmth of his body and breath in his scent of snow, evergreen and spiced tea.

  One hand still locked on the truck, he searched her eyes for a moment, then his gaze dropped to her mouth.

  Her insides flipped. Barely breathing, she watched him, unconsciously leaning forward, her eyelids drooping in anticipation of the kiss she knew would be better than she’d ever imagined.

  But then he lowered his arms and stepped back. She blinked, confused, and gripped the edge of the doorframe for balance, her pulse thudding and her body on edge.

  He stood there before her, unmoving. Jaw taut, eyes smoldering with suppressed need.

  Braxton wanted her. But not enough to cross the invisible line he’d drawn between them.

  He shook his head, his expression unreadable now. Then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he lifted a hand to graze the backs of his knuckles down her cheek. “I always knew you were dangerous,” he murmured.

  She blinked, biting back a protest as arousal, confusion and unfulfilled need pumped through her. “Me? Dangerous?” What was he talking about?

  Dropping his hand, he made a low sound in his throat, a kind of frustrated growl, then turned away to head around the front of the truck. “We’d better get back before they decide to form a search party and come looking for us.”

  Tala collapsed backward into the passenger seat and sucked in a deep breath, her mind reeling. What the hell was he trying to do to her?

  She’d give him space for now, but she wasn’t letting this go. She refused to let him toy with her and her heart. If he wanted her, he would damn well be the one to make the first move.

  Chapter Nine

  Jesus, he should never have fucking touched her. Because now the hunger he’d fought to keep at bay was a million times stronger than it had been before.

  Braxton groaned and ran a hand over his face as he sank deeper into the hot tub tucked under Tate’s back deck, letting the steaming water envelop him up to his neck. Dinner wasn’t for almost another hour, but he’d needed time alone to unwind, especially with Tala here. So he’d come out here to get away from everyone for a bit and get a grip on himself and find his missing control before he had to face her again.

  He’d almost blown it earlier and was furious with himself. He’d given too much away as it was. Now Tala was no doubt confused by his hot/cold behavior. She knew he’d been a hair’s breadth from kissing her.

  The drive back had been strained. Neither of them had said anything when they’d gotten into the truck. Tala because she’d probably still been in shock, and he because he didn’t know what the hell to say.

  Just when she’d turned at him and opened her mouth to finally say something, her phone had rung. Rylee, asking for a ride from a friend’s house back to Tate’s.

  Tala had stayed on the phone with her until they’d arrived at her friend’s place on the outskirts of town to pick Rylee up. Then they’d stopped to grab Nina some groceries downtown, and Rylee had chattered the rest of the way back to Tate’s. There had been no time for him and Tala to talk, and for that he was grateful.

  Shit. He’d wanted her for so damn long, had kept everything locked down tight inside him for years. Now his control was failing him.

  Her comment on the trail about him being family had made him thankful he’d kept his feelings to himself this whole time. But later at the truck when she’d hinted that she wanted him, there was no way in hell he could have stopped himself from touching her.

  It had taken an act of will not to kiss her. To grope around for what little self-control he had left where she was concerned and back away.

  The basement door opened. He slung his head around, his whole body tightening when Tala stepped outside wearing a robe.

  She froze with her hand on the doorknob, staring at him. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know you were already in there.” She started to turn away. “I’ll just—”

  “Wait.”

  She stopped and looked back at him, her expression guarded. Uncertain.

  He hated being responsible for putting that look on her face. Hated feeling torn about her all the time.

  Talking wasn’t easy for him, especially when it came to feelings and shit. But he couldn’t afford to fuck this up, and leaving things as they were would only make their situation worse. He had to find a way to fix this. “You don’t need to go.”

  Her expression seemed a little stiff as she turned to face him. “You sure?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t want her to avoid him. And he needed to find his balls and level with her.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear
and came toward him, stopping short of the steps leading to the hot tub to wrap her arms around her waist.

  It was freezing out here. She had to be cold already. “You’re not coming in?”

  She shook her head. “It’s fine.”

  It wasn’t fine. None of this was fine, and it was his fault. “Come in.” He slid over to give her more room, putting a bit of distance between them to make her more comfortable.

  She hesitated and glanced away. “I’m not sure I…”

  And then it hit him. She was embarrassed to have him see her without her prosthesis when she got into the water. That bothered him. He’d been there the day she’d been wounded. He’d seen exactly what the war had cost her, and still thought she was the sexiest, most gorgeous woman in the world.

  “I’ll turn my back if you want,” he offered.

  She met his eyes again, then nodded. “Okay.”

  He turned away to give her some privacy, his brain supplying him with a high-def image of what she looked like as she took off the robe to reveal her bathing suit. One piece or bikini? Smooth, bare skin. Small, round breasts. Nipples taut from the cold.

  Hell.

  The gentle splash of water followed. He waited, still imagining what she looked like in her suit as she eased into the water. “Okay, I’m in.”

  Braxton turned around, and in spite of himself his gaze immediately shot down to her chest. She was in a one-piece suit, and the rounded tops of her breasts floated just above the surface of the water. Blood rushed to his groin, making his borrowed trunks too tight.

  “You sore?”

  He jerked his gaze up to her face, cursing himself. She stripped him down to his basest level without even trying. “Not yet. Hoping a soak will avert that. How’s your leg?”

  “A little bit chafed, but not bad.”

  He could smell the scent of her perfume now, rising over the surface of the water with the steam. His hands itched to reach for her, to draw her into his lap and kiss those tempting lips.

  And yet, even with this new tension between them, it felt right being here with her. It felt as if they belonged together. But touching her again would be a colossal mistake. If he put his hands on her again, what remained of his resolve and good intentions would evaporate.

  “Why biathlon?” he asked, searching for a safe subject. He still had no idea how to broach the important one standing between them like a wall.

  She shrugged. “I’ve always liked skiing and shooting. I was already feeling restless and looking for a challenge before Rylee left home, and biathlon seemed like a natural fit for me. But since she’s been gone, it’s been a godsend. I never realized just how empty I would feel, and training helps fill the void, gives me something else to focus on other than missing her and being lonely.”

  He hated the thought of her feeling empty and alone. It made him want to hold her even more. To kiss her and stroke her and immerse her in pleasure, and promise her she would never be alone, because she’d always have him.

  Except he couldn’t promise her that. And he’d be a selfish asshole to ask her to take a risk on him when he already knew how it would end. Him gone, and her kicking him to the curb one day.

  I want someone who will put me first. Her words echoed in his mind.

  Her eyes seemed to see straight into his soul. “Do you ever get lonely?”

  He’d felt lonely most of his life. It was something he’d learned to live with early on. Maybe that’s why he was the way he was. “Sometimes,” he allowed, aware that they were skating around the edge of some very thin ice right now.

  “And you’re not…seeing anyone now?”

  He wouldn’t lie to her about that, not even to make this easier. “No.”

  She held his gaze, as though waiting for him to elaborate, having given him the perfect opening. But he didn’t know how to explain everything without hurting her.

  Disappointment flashed in her eyes before she lowered her lashes. “Well. I should get out. Would you mind…” She flicked a hand at him, signaling for him to turn his back again as she reached for the top of the tub.

  Don’t let her go.

  Without thinking, he grabbed her shoulder. She stopped and looked back at him. Her expression warned him he needed to talk. Fast.

  He inhaled, a torrent of hunger ripping through him even as he fought the impulse to pull her to him. His fingers tightened on her smooth, wet skin, the urge to crush her to him and take that sexy mouth overpowering. “Tal.”

  Her face tensed. “What? Just say it, Brax, and put me out of my misery.”

  Her torment sliced him up inside. He’d never meant to hurt her. Never wanted to hurt her. “I shouldn’t touch you,” he rasped out, forcing himself to take his hand off her even as every cell in his body was screaming at him to drag her to him and kiss her breathless.

  She frowned at him. “Why not? And don’t say because I’m Tate’s sister, because that’s a weak excuse. We’re both adults.”

  All the reasons for keeping his distance that had seemed so strong and important before were now evaporating as fast as the steam rising from the surface of the water around them. The insatiable hunger for her swelled inside him, a rising tide he was powerless to resist.

  He shook his head, his will and iron control failing him for the first time. “I’ve stayed away from you like I promised myself I would. Kept my distance as long as I could, but I can’t anymore. I can’t,” he rasped out, plunging one hand into the back of her hair as he pulled her close and he brought his mouth down on hers.

  Tala gasped and grabbed his shoulders, the instant of surprise vanishing as she melted against him. She softened and melted into him, setting him on fire as her breasts made contact with his bare chest.

  Raw need exploded through him. He pulled her closer, clamping an arm around her hips to bring her as tight to him as possible. She made a soft sound and set her hands on the sides of his face as she straddled his lap.

  He went rock hard against her, her soft weight settling over the aching ridge of his cock. Oh, Christ, he needed inside her. Needed her to be his.

  The urge to take and dominate lashed at him. He fought it back, searching for the tenderness she brought out in him. On a low groan, he shifted his grip on the back of her head and licked across her lower lip, seeking entry.

  She parted her lips for him instantly, pressing closer. God help him, he obliged, delving inside to touch her tongue with his. Teasing. Hot, his heart pounding so hard he could hear it.

  Tala cupped his head in her hands and stroked her tongue along his. He groaned and plunged deeper. Stroking. Claiming. Aching for more.

  It was wrong. So wrong of him, but he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t pull back. Not with her.

  Instead he slowed down, drawing it out for them both. Savoring every moment of this sensual exploration, losing himself in her.

  Tala moaned softly. The plaintive sound was full of need, and it sent another wave of hunger through him, hot and heavy. She felt incredible, and the way she responded to him was so damn sexy.

  But he needed to stop this before he took it too far. Because he wanted that more than he wanted his next breath. To devour her with kisses, pull her suit straps down her shoulders so he could cup her breasts and suck on her nipples. Get her as worked up as him before sliding his hand between her legs to find her clit and make her come while he drank in every sexy sound she made.

  But not here in her brother’s hot tub, when her brother or daughter could come out here at any moment looking for them.

  With herculean effort, Braxton forced himself to break the kiss and lift his head. They stared at each other, breathing fast. Tala’s cheeks were flushed, her gorgeous eyes dilated. She held his gaze, still poised on his lap, and touched her tongue to her lower lip as if still tasting him…or thinking about tasting another part of him.

  He groaned and leaned in for another kiss, this one so tender and heartfelt it made his whole chest tighten. Christ, he was done for. Would d
o anything for her, except leave the military, and now that he’d crossed the line he might have fucked everything up between them forever.

  There was no way he could walk away from this now. Not even if he knew it would lead to disaster in the end.

  He cupped her cheek in his hand, gliding his thumb across her baby-smooth skin, and shook his head slightly. “This is why you’re dangerous. You destroy my control, Tal. Just like I knew you would.”

  A slow smile spread across her face. “If you’re waiting for an apology, don’t hold your breath.”

  He groaned and touched his forehead to hers, closing his eyes. “God, Tala, I want you so damn bad.”

  She angled her head to kiss his cheek, the edge of his mouth, then his lips. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she whispered.

  Exhaling, he gently grasped the back of her neck and lifted his head to look into her eyes. “Because you deserve better than me.”

  She drew her head back, shock washing over her face. “What? Why the hell would you even think something like that?”

  He didn’t want to have this conversation with her mound pressed to his cock, but there was no help for it. “Because it’s true.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  But it was. “I’m going to re-up after this contract. And I’m…not good at this,” he managed.

  She raised her eyebrows. “This? If you mean you’re not good at making out, you’re dead wrong.”

  That made him smile a little, but it faded fast as the cold weight of dread settled in his chest. “No, at relationships.” It was humiliating to admit it to her.

  She settled back on her heels, still perched atop him but no longer sitting directly on his erection, which was thankfully deflating now. “Why do you say that?”

  His jaw tightened. She deserved to know the truth. “Because every time I try one, it never works.” He glanced away. “I’m not built for it. Inside. Something’s…missing, I guess.”

  She put a hand on the side of his face and turned it so he was looking at her again. “Nothing’s missing inside you. And my relationship track record isn’t exactly stellar either. I haven’t been with anyone since before I was wounded.”